Just wait...

I read a post today from a faithful Christian woman who is expecting her first child.  She was frustrated about all the "horror" stories she hears as a pregnant woman from well-meaning friends and family.  She was discouraged by all the "do this now before baby comes," and "Oh, just wait for this bad thing to happen in parenthood..."   I was touched by her vulnerability and honesty, as well as her request for encouraging replies letting her know the GOOD things she could look forward to.  I couldn't help but reply about this wonderful, crazy, yet rewarding thing we call motherhood.  Especially this week, I, too, needed to be reminded that it IS worth it!!  Here is my reply, for what it is worth.

I have always wondered what it is about a pregnant belly that invites so much unsolicited advice and story-sharing, even from total strangers! Also, it always amazed me when total strangers would come up and rub my belly. I always wanted to reach out and rub theirs back to see how they reacted.  I do think, though, that people feel validated and connected by sharing the details of their difficult labors or pregnancies, their sleepless nights, and their poop-covered clothing. Childbirth is simultaneously both the most humbling and empowering event a woman can experience! After I had my first child, I felt like if I could do that, I could conquer the world! (And, that is despite some difficult moments during labor. Who cares about those even a split second after the baby arrives?) While most of the “horror” stories people share are, indeed, reality, even the most “horrible” events in parenting can bring such strength and growth and bonding! Without some bumps along the road, would we truly appreciate the good moments? We have experienced some heart wrenching things with our children, but we learn and grow and change so much by experiencing the rough parts. Will there be sleepless nights? Many. Will there be extra laundry? You betcha. Will there be days you want to sit down in the floor and throw a tantrum to match your overtired toddler? Undoubtedly. Will you sometimes feel like this is just more than you can handle? Yes. But, just wait…

Just wait…til you see that first little real smile (not the gassy kind) directed straight at you.

Just wait…til you hear that first belly laugh. You’ll do the craziest things to bring it back again and again. You might even call the grandparents just to let them listen.

Just wait…til you see your son walking hand in hand with their Daddy and even their gait matches his.

Just wait…til your daughter shows up with “eyeliner” courtsey a purple Sharpie on your way out the door for family pictures.

Just wait…til your child says his first solo prayer and thanks God for the napkins, the chairs, the sticky floor, the dirt, the sky, Grandma, Grandpa, the people next door, my friend down the street, the cat, my blankie, my pillow, my corn, my potatoes, my chicken, and my…”Hey Mom, what IS this?…” and on and on.

Just wait…til your child lets go and takes her first steps while you hold your breath…and your camera…and your video camera…and the iPad while you FaceTime grandparents.

Just wait…til you hear a tiny little voice joining yours in praise to God.

Just wait…til you are teaching the books of the Bible to your little one and they can’t quite say the words right but it doesn’t matter because they are trying!

Just wait…til you can finally understand a tiny little bit of what God must have felt when He sent His only son to earth to suffer and sacrifice and laugh and cry…and save.

Just wait…it’s amazing. And scary. And exhausting. And invigorating. And sad. And happy. And fun. And special. And so much more than you could ever hope or imagine or dream…if you got to sleep, that is! 

Better yet, don’t “just wait.” Enjoy every moment that you have with your baby now while you are always together, later when you bring them into this world, and every moment that God blesses you and your husband with taking care of this precious blessing and this special soul.

Where are the kids?

I get lots of questions about why my kids' pictures aren't on my blog.  I used to hear a lot about why they weren't on my facebook page (which I no longer have).   Here's the quick version:

Several years ago when my daughter was about 18 months old, I was shopping in a store when I heard someone call my daughter by name.   She was walking with me and not riding in a buggy, so she and I both turned to see who was calling her.  There stood a girl I'd never seen, calling my 1 1/2 year old by name.   Next, she said, "Come here.  I'm a friend of your Aunt Kiki (my sister's name is Kristen, but that was too hard for my daughter to say, so she called her Kiki).  Come see me and talk to me."  My daughter was young enough and friendly enough to want to go straight to anyone who knew her "Aunt Kiki."  I grabbed her hand quickly and told her that no, we don't go to strangers.  The girl smiled bigger and said, "Oh, I'm not a stranger. I  see her pictures on your sister's facebook page all the time, so I feel like I know her.  I just want to talk to her.  Come here and see Kiki's friend."  Not.  Cool.

I was pretty shaken by the whole thing when I got home, and I struggled with how to teach my very young daughter not to talk to strangers but to also teach her to be friendly and to speak when spoken to, as she had a habit of ignoring people when they spoke to her.   I decided to just leave it at, "Always ask Mommy or Daddy before you go to anyone."  I also called my sister and asked her to let her friend know that we were rattled by it.  I thought it was over.

However, no less than 3 times within the next week that same girl showed up where we were, seemingly out of nowhere, and always called my daughter by name and asked her to come over to where she was.  Although I knew it was just coincidence, it started to really freak me out.  My daughter was also confused, and she became very clingy as this stranger consistently called her name everywhere we went.  I told the girl specifically to please not do that to young kids, as it scared them and their parents, even if she meant well. I came home and talked to my husband about it (and he was there during one of the events), and we decided together that we would not post any of our kids' pictures online.  We also requested that our friends and family not post our kids online.  Sometimes we allow them to be in posts of groups if their names and locations aren't used, but for the most part, we just request that no one post their pictures.   I never expected the backlash we would get from that decision, but we did!  People were greatly offended, and several STILL challenge us by posting their pictures without permission.   I am begging you, if you have a friend who asks you to take their kids' pictures off, please do so.  Also, if you see a young child out that you know, make sure not to encourage them to come see you unless you also know their parents and they have given you permission.  Our children deserve to be and feel safe! :)

Childish Behavior

So last night I got THE CALL.  You know, that first call home from a teacher about your child's behavior in class?   Oh.  no.  Being married to a teacher makes me dread calls like that even more!  When I found out the call was coming, I was a nervous wreck.  However, I had to play it cool because my daughter was having a complete and total meltdown over the situation.  Finally, 5 minutes before the kids went to bed, the teacher called.

First, she talked to my daughter about something that was causing my sweet girl quite a bit of distress, no matter what I said!  They chatted a few minutes, laughed a lot, had some "true confession" moments, and then my daughter went to bed.  And fell asleep.  Instantly.  Unconcerned.  (Such a rare event in our house!)

Secondly, I took the phone and talked to her teacher.  Let me just say before I tell the rest of this that every teacher has their faults, but any teacher who tries THIS hard to help my daughter through some of her struggles deserves my full respect and praise.  It does my heart good to know that someone is watching out for my daughter so whole-heartedly.

So, with great trepidation I began the conversation.  As we talked, what I heard from her was that my daughter has been ACTING HER AGE in class.  She told me that it had not been disruptive, just odd.  She assured me that she was not angry or frustrated, but that it was so out of character for my sweet girl that she wanted me to know about it.  She relayed stories to me about my girl laughing almost deliriously during school at something goofy, about her "risking" reprimand by getting up out of her seat during independent work time, and about her making "weird noises" during spelling.  As I listened, I was dumbfounded.  And elated!  And amazed!  And thrilled!  [I probably sound like a lunatic, but my daughter has always been a "little adult."  She is super serious at all times.  She has rarely smiled, even more rarely laughed, and has extreme difficulty with social interactions and finding humor in anything "childish."  She doesn't "get" jokes, and she seldom lets go enough to laugh.  A tight smile is usually the best we get, unless she is acting in a play or playing with her brother.  He is the only one who can truly make her laugh. ]
Her teacher even said that, when she started giggling or making noises, the rest of the class looked at her as if to say, "She's finally one of us!"  Where the teacher saw reason for concern, I only felt relief.  We have tried for 8+ years to break through her shell, and, for the first time, it's happening.  Usually, she is so afraid of getting in trouble that she will follow the rules TO THE LETTER, PRECISELY, with no deviation to the left or right.  Where we see silliness and goofiness, she disdainfully sees childishness.  Having her step out of her comfort zone to do these "silly" things is huge.  A major step. No, make that a giant leap!

As we finished the conversation, I stressed how much we support the teacher's opinions and efforts. I reminded her that we want to help in any way that we can to make sure our daughter is behaving.  I asked for more updates next week so that I can monitor this, but I also let her know that this was a huge (albeit probably annoying at school) step. Her laughter was probably louder than necessary or crazier than appropriate, but she has so little practice at it that it will take time! I am probably the only parent in history to be RELIEVED by a call from a teacher about strange classroom behavior!

I can't help but wonder if our food changes are to explain for this extreme change.  About a week into our plan, my daughter started to relax and become less uptight and wound up.  She started hugging us willingly for the first time in ages.  She admitted to having "fun" at family night.  She slept better with fewer nightmares.  The tantrums and meltdowns lessened.  I could go on and on.  I have been hesitant to assign the credit for this to the food, but we have tried everything else with little to no success, and this is the FIRST time we have seen something like this.   I am hopeful that it will continue and maybe we can "find" the girl that I know is inside of her somewhere.  She treated us to the laughter at my parents the other night, and it was all I could do to contain my tears.   As a baby learning to laugh, she had a deep, guttural laugh that thrilled us all.  I would call the grandparents and let them listen over the phone because it was such an incredible sound.  It was such a thrill to hear it again this week.

Meeska Mooska Mickey Mouse!

Check out how we spent our snow day yesterday!  The kiddos have had a very girly bathroom up til now, so we redid it in Mickey and Minnie.  Turned out so cute!  The wall color matches Mickey's shoe color, but doesn't show up right in pictures.

hand painted by yours truly

Check out the cool "confetti" paint from Wal-Mart

Princess' handprints

Little Man's handprints

The kiddos mod-podged scrapbook paper on the outlet and light switch covers.

Another mod-podge job on the toilet paper holder.

I LOVE these!  These are the kiddos' handprints made into mickey and minnie gloves.  My HUBBY had this idea!  Actually, the whole bathroom was his idea, and I LOVE it!!

"After" picture for 100 reasons to be thankful!

I promised an "after" picture of the turkey discussed here:  http://craftykeeperathome.blogspot.com/2013/11/100-reasons-to-be-thankful.html

My son had no trouble with this.  He could have added another 100 things. My daughter really, really struggled.  Thankfulness is hard for her, as she is very concerned that by saying she is thankful she might accidentally "lie" if it's something she doesn't LOVE.  It was a good learning experience for all of us, and by the end, we were really having to dig deep and think about our many blessings!

100 Reasons to be Thankful

Given that I am no longer on Facebook, I have not had the chance to see (or participate in) the "What I'm thankful for" posts that always surface around Turkey Day.  However, I do like to use this time to reflect on giving thanks for the blessings that God has bestowed upon me and on my family.  We also like to use this time to redirect our children towards gratitude and thankfulness rather than the usual "gimmes" that can  bubble up during the holidays.

Our preacher challenged each member of our congregation to list 100 things he/she is thankful for between last Sunday and Thanksgiving day.  The idea is that the first several (or 50 or 70) will come pretty easily, but then it will require a lot of thought and consideration and will really pull out the deeper aspects of gratitude. 

We decided in our house to do this both individually AND as a family.  We have one child in particular who has a very difficult time with gratitude.   The normal attitude is one of aloofness and ingratitude, and we struggle constantly with instilling appreciation and thankfulness.  It seems that the more kids have to be grateful FOR, the less appreciative they become.  That is part of the reason we completely purged our house of "stuff" and have instilled the "one in, one out" rule.  (But, I digress...that is another post for another day!).

The picture at the top of this post is our "thankfulness" turkey.  If I counted correctly, he has 100 feathers.  Between now and Thanksgiving Day, each of the 4 of us will add 25 reasons to be thankful to our colorful turkey.  I will TRY to remember to post an "after" picture later this month. 

A sneak peek of yesterday's contributions:  A good house to live in, a faithful husband, a Christian wife, and tacos.  :)  Stay tuned, and may we all remember to give thanks where thanks is due, to our Almighty Creator.

A "4-H" kind of Mama...

Today is a trial day for my "new" way of life.  My daughter went back to school yesterday (Sniff, sniff), and we got word last night that my son was accepted into the kindergarten of our choice at my daughter's school (double sniff!!  I mean, yay?   My emotions are so mixed!!!).  Today there is no school, so they are at an amusement park with their grandparents to usher in the new school year, so I am solo for my first day.  Everyone seems so worried that I won't have enough things to fill my day while the kiddos are gone, but I am looking around my house thinking, "Seriously??  They think I'll get bored?!"   I am hopeful that perhaps I can finally get a handle on this thing called housekeeping, as it is NOT one of my talents! :)   I am also looking forward to the chance to serve my local congregation in ways I have been unable to before.   And, there is always the "room mom" thing. :)

All that being said, I am awfully tired this morning, and I can see how tempting it could be to allow laziness to take over during my "free" time.   As a result, I have created my "4-H" daily goals.   I am laminating this sheet so that it can be dry erase, and I am going to TRY to make a daily habit of choosing one goal in each category to help shape my day and keep me from wasting precious time.  I want to be a good steward of the time and talents God has blessed me with, so I am hopeful this will help!  If you have suggestions for ways to improve it, I am all ears!  Also, if you think it would be helpful for your life, feel free to use it/edit it/whatever!

My 4 "H's" are:

Heavenly goal:   What am I going to do today to improve my and my family's efforts to get to heaven?  It could be as simple as carving out an extra 30 minutes of prayer time, developing a lesson for my kids or my class, listening to a sermon podcast from a faithful Christian, etc. 

Health goal:  What am I going to do today to better my or my family's health?  Try a new healthy recipe?   Take a nap because I was up all night with a sick kiddo?  Take an extra long walk?   Make sure we all get in our water for the day?   Plan family fitness activity after school?  Walk to pick the kids up instead of driving?

Household goal:  What will I do to improve our home today?  Laundry?  Iron?  Mop?  Sweep?   Grocery shop?  The possibilities are endless...


Happiness goal:   What will I do today to improve someone's happiness?   Will I send a card?  Will I surprise my kids with a lunch visit?  Will I plan a family game night?  Will I take some "me" time to refresh my energies?  Will I plan a date night for my husband?  Will I visit a shut-in?  Deliver a meal?   Bake fresh bread for a neighbor?  Babysit for a tired mama? 

Here is my template for my goals...

Daily Goals

Big Boy Room Redo!

When my daughter was in kindergarten, we gave her a surprise "big girl" room remodel to redo the nursery layout.   My son starts kindergarten in just a month (WHAT?!), so we wanted to do the same for him.  Like his sister, he had minor input into the theme (sports), but had no idea exactly what it would look like or when it would take place.

For the past few weeks, we have been secretly ordering, making, and collecting things for his new room.   Yesterday, he and his sister went to Nana's to spend the night and hang out with her for a while, thinking it was just a summer sleepover. 

This is how his room started out (minus the changing table which hasn't been there in 4 years...hahaha.  Can't believe I forgot to take a picture of his "big boy bed" with Mickey Comforter). 

And here is the final result!!  I am so excited about how it all turned out!  I told him I may decide to move in there, too.   :) 

I was pretty proud of these!  12 X 12 canvas + mod podge + scrapbook paper and my mother-in-law's cricut!

Hubby played tennis in college, so we had to include it!

My friend found this canvas at Kohl's.  It "made" the room!  We love it!

The baseball wall....SOOOOOOO pleased with how it turned out!   Lots of tutorials online...I will try to find the original link I read and put it on here.    The light switch and outlet are mod-podged, too.

This is a wooden letter from Michael's with scrapbook paper mod-podged onto it.

I am jealous of this fan! :)

Even the hooks are mod-podged.

One picture wasn't enough.  LOVE THIS!

Big boy comforter...bye bye Mickey Mouse!

This one turned out most like what was in my head. :)

12 X 12 "graduation" frame with sports duct tape around the edges.  Scrapbook stickers to spell out quotes, mod-podged over the top with a pic of my boy playing t-ball in the embedded frame.

This was hard.  I had to "hand-tie" the net because I couldn't find one small enough.  THEN, I glued it to a pipe cleaner and put a ribbon around it to make it 3d.  Had to re-do it more than once before it worked...but I love it!

Summer Schedules

Summer is supposed to be carefree and easy, right?    Not so in this house!  :)   Somehow, having everyone home (though fabulously special and a time to cherish!) is harder than having the school routine going.  So far, we've been late EVERYWHERE as we try to adjust to everyone working around everyone else.  Interesting!

So...we developed a summer "routine."  For my rigid, don't-change-anything-without-telling-me daughter, it's been a little tough to not have exact times listed, but as a basic guide for our days, it is working well.   I am sure it will require some "tweaking," but for now, here it is!

Summertime Daily Routine

Rise and shine with a (quiet!) smile!  J

Morning chores

Breakfast/Daddy school time/Morning play

Outdoor and Indoor Chores

Kids’ Independent Playtime

MUNCHA  MUNCHA    LUNCHA

Family reading time

Quiet/Rest time (in your own rooms, QUIET, sleep or read)

Play time/ Daddy school/ Afternoon chores

Brain Time!   Fred, Puzzles, Games

BIBLE STUDY

Dinner

Baths, reading, evening chores, family time

Good Night, Sleep Tight!

This is how a pirate parties...

Today was the big day!  My baby turned 5!  Seems like yesterday that he came home for the first time (in the snow), and today we celebrated, pirate style!  Jake and the Neverland Pirates is the current favorite at our house, so that was our theme.  Here are pics of the party!

I made these cute stacking dolls with Jake and friends!

SOO happy with how they turned out! :)

We made soap favors for the kiddos.  My first try with homemade soap.

The Cake!

We lucked into a printable topper.

I loved the coconut trees.

Birds-Eye view

Daddy made a cute homemade banner

Another homemade banner

Placemats

A cute banner!

In the yard

"Cannonballs"

Cute favors - Jake soaps and candies

We made pirate balloon buddies from Wal-mart, took some big swings at a Pinata, collected pirate loot, and even had a treasure hunt for one of the gifts (a hand-me-down bike that Daddy painted bright blue).  What a fun day for our little pirate!