First of all, being healthy requires making healthy choices. Our brains and bodies work better when we are making healthy choices throughout our day. Wholesome foods, exercise, and adequate sleep can go a LONG way towards giving us the best attitudes, brain function, and learning ability.
H - Help
Ask. For. Help. This is so hard for us mamas! We want to try to do everything on our own, but we can't. Don't be afraid to ask for help for you or your child when it is needed. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of courage and boldness. First and foremost, ask God! He wants to help you. Ask your husbands for help when needed. Ask others to help with a difficult subject. Ask your church family when life is overwhelming. Ask me, if there is a way that I can help!
E - Explore
Explore the world around you. Explore different curriculum choices. Explore treatment options if your child has mental or emotional struggles. Explore God's creation. There isn't one right way to homeschool, so if something isn't working, explore other options! Explore ways to meet your child's individual learning style. Keep learning, growing, and exploring!
A - Adjust and adapt!
There isn’t
one right way to do things. Does your
child struggle with writing? Let him
type! Is your child an auditory
learner? Read their lessons to them or
buy the audio CD that comes with the curriculum. Do you have a child with sensory
issues? Buy him a sensory sock (but
don’t try to make one!). Do you have a
kid who can’t sit still? Let her sit
on an exercise ball instead of at a desk.
Have wiggle room in your schedule for “off” days when the kids are
struggling or things aren’t working. We
do a “Camp Readmore” once a semester when I let the kids sleep in some, wake
them up and announce Camp Readmore. We
stay in our pajamas and spend the whole school day reading. We do read alouds, we read independently, we
read a book that goes along with what we are studying, we listen to audiobooks,
etc. They never know when it will be…I
try to save it for a time when I know they are tired or have had a hard week
and need a break from the normal routine.
We sometimes
also need to adjust our expectations.
If a curriculum choice is not working, it is not life or death. We CAN make changes. One of the best things about homeschooling,
in my opinion, is that we have choices.
Maybe Saxon Math worked for your first child, but your second child just
isn’t getting it. Maybe they need Life of Fred. MAYBE you dreamed that your child would be
a brilliant mathematician because your husband is, but she hates math. That’s okay! Adjust your expectations! Maybe you have always thought that learning
only takes place at a desk that is neat as a pin, but you have a child who
learns best when moving or hanging upside down on the couch. Let them move! Let them hang upside down! This DOESN’T mean that we dumb things down
or LOWER our expectations. It doesn’t
mean that we allow chaos or disrespect! Kids will live up to what we expect of
them, but sometimes, we need to adjust our expectations! And, sometimes, we need to adjust THEIR
expectations. Are they perfectionists? Do some work that is timed so that they
can’t obsess over small mistakes. Did
you know that Disney animators don’t have erasers on their pencils? It’s so they can’t second guess their work
and they can let their creativity flow without obsessing over perfection. Force them to write in pen so they can’t
erase. Then, show them all the good
things they did and point out that even imperfect work can be amazing! Do
you have a child who thinks he can’t write?
Let him tell you a story and jot it down for him – or let him type it –
and then show him what he “wrote.”
L - Love Unconditionally
Quit
fighting them and their little brains and bodies. Accept your child for who he
or she is. AND DO NOT COMPARE THEM!!!
No matter what the diagnosis (or lack of), these children are blessings from
God that have been entrusted to us for a short time. Stay focused on the goal of heaven and see
these things for what they are…obstacles and speed bumps, but we can get past
them. Sometimes it is so tempting to try
to “fix” our children or to change them, but until we accept them and their
struggles, learning and growth will be hindered. I recommend the 5 Love Languages to help
figure out how YOUR child needs to be loved.
This can be especially insightful if your child has as different love
language than you do! My son’s primary
love language is touch because of his sensory issues, and he loves deep
pressure, compression, etc., so he always wants to be RIGHT up next to you,
leaning on you, sitting on you, etc.
Can you guess what my LOWEST love language is?? Touch!
Before I evaluated those things, I would get SO frustrated with him, but
now I try to be purposeful about finding time to cuddle or to give super tight
hugs so that he feels loved and then can learn.
He is also VERY sensitive, and
little things that would never occur to me that they would be upsetting can
send him over the edge. So, I try to
be careful with the words I use and to find opportunities to build him up, and
we try to use “sensitive” situations to teach him to handle
disappointments. We try to find
situations that have mild potential for upsetting him and prepare him for those
events so he can build on successes.
T- Timeouts
Everyone needs time away sometimes. Not just parents, but kids, too. Maybe it is time far away, like at a fabulous homeschool retreat in Kentucky. Maybe it’s just “quiet time” – we call it DEAR time and it can be Drop Everything and Read or Drop Everything and Rest. They are allowed to do either, but it must be done quietly and in a way that doesn’t bother anyone else. Maybe it just means that the kids go hang out with the grandparents for a few hours and you go get a frappucino and a haircut. Maybe it just means that you send the kids outside so you can potty in privacy. This is especially true if your child has separation anxiety issues. It is also good for your child to have chances to be accountable to someone else, such as in lessons or co-op classes. Not everyone gains their energy from being with other people 24/7, so if you have a child who doesn’t, these timeouts are especially important for them.H - Heart
We must keep our heavenly
focus no matter what – don’t lose sight of the goal. It can be so easy to get caught up in all
these physical things and to forget why we are really here!
Php 3:14 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the
upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Eccl 12:13
13 Let us hear the conclusion
of the whole matter:Fear God and keep His commandments,For this is man’s all.
When something is troubling you, ask if it will matter in eternity. If it will, by all means devote your full energy to solving it. If it won’t, give it some of your time but don’t allow it to consume you. Remember what our goal truly is… being in heaven with our LORD and guiding these precious souls He has loaned us back to Him. While finish our math book for the year is great, and completing our math or history in the time mapped out for us can feel like such an accomplishment, it is not the be all and end all. Teach our children about the world, and science and grammar and math SO THAT they can know more about our Creator and His purpose for us. Don’t let the physical take your eyes off the spiritual.
Y - YOU
you can’t
pour from an empty bucket.
How many of you have ever flown on a plane? You know how they give that speech about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping your child secure theirs? How many of you think that would be your natural response? How many of you would WANT to watch your child struggle to breathe while you put on your own mask? I wouldn’t! But, why do they tell us that? It’s because if we DON’T put ours on first, we won’t be there to help our children. So, we need to take care of ourselves so that we can subsequently take care of our children. This might mean that you regularly schedule time to yourself to recharge. It might mean that you journal, or exercise, or craft or cook. It might mean that you find that friend or mentor with whom you can be real. It MIGHT mean that you, yourself, seek treatment or counseling. There is no shame in recharging your batteries or in getting help.
Remember
that YOU are not alone. The God who
created you and loves you will ALWAYS be there for you. Likewise, you have your Christian family to
lean on when you are struggling. If
you are dealing with issues like this for you or your child, reach out. Do NOT try to tackle this alone.
Forgive yourself. Remember that you are human. Maybe you deal with your own anxieties and dysregulation. You will make mistakes. You will yell sometimes. You will be so exhausted sometimes that you will let your kids by with things that normally you wouldn’t. You will worry about things that will never happen. You will forget to worry about things sometimes and then they DO happen and you want to kick yourself for not analyzing that possibility. You might hover over your children occasionally. You might forget to hover sometime and something gets through to your child that you didn’t intend. Give yourself some grace. Forgive yourself. God does. And, your kids will when you ask them. Apologize! They are resilient. You love them more than anyone else on earth, and you are doing what you believe is best. You have their best interests at heart and in your mind. Seek the Lord’s guidance and trust the maternal instincts he gave you. You were chosen to be their mother. You can do this. And if I can help in any way, I’ll be in the trenches with you… just give me a call. 😊
How many of you have ever flown on a plane? You know how they give that speech about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping your child secure theirs? How many of you think that would be your natural response? How many of you would WANT to watch your child struggle to breathe while you put on your own mask? I wouldn’t! But, why do they tell us that? It’s because if we DON’T put ours on first, we won’t be there to help our children. So, we need to take care of ourselves so that we can subsequently take care of our children. This might mean that you regularly schedule time to yourself to recharge. It might mean that you journal, or exercise, or craft or cook. It might mean that you find that friend or mentor with whom you can be real. It MIGHT mean that you, yourself, seek treatment or counseling. There is no shame in recharging your batteries or in getting help.
Forgive yourself. Remember that you are human. Maybe you deal with your own anxieties and dysregulation. You will make mistakes. You will yell sometimes. You will be so exhausted sometimes that you will let your kids by with things that normally you wouldn’t. You will worry about things that will never happen. You will forget to worry about things sometimes and then they DO happen and you want to kick yourself for not analyzing that possibility. You might hover over your children occasionally. You might forget to hover sometime and something gets through to your child that you didn’t intend. Give yourself some grace. Forgive yourself. God does. And, your kids will when you ask them. Apologize! They are resilient. You love them more than anyone else on earth, and you are doing what you believe is best. You have their best interests at heart and in your mind. Seek the Lord’s guidance and trust the maternal instincts he gave you. You were chosen to be their mother. You can do this. And if I can help in any way, I’ll be in the trenches with you… just give me a call. 😊
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