It can be so tempting in this world of digital communication to feel like we are isolated or that our actions don't impact others. As we scroll through Facebook or check out updates on Instagram, we can feel so disconnected, even from those we call "friends." We can feel overwhelmed by how everyone else seems to have their lives together while we flounder. Text messages and emails don't quite convey our tone of voice correctly, and we can hurt each other without even realizing it. When we reduce our lives to status updates and news feed stories, we lose so much of what gives life its color and depth.
Recently, I have been made aware of just how deeply our actions can affect those around us. Sometimes we go through life and forget that every decision we make has a ripple effect. Maybe we have plans to meet a friend but we just get too busy and don't show up. Perhaps we think we will just skip worship this one time and no one will notice or be affected. Perhaps we make an offhand comment that we think is funny, but is actually hurtful. It's important for us to remember that every single thing we do affects someone.
Recently, my family has suffered from the loss of a close friendship from someone who has ended almost all communication with us and our church family. There have been many tears shed, prayers prayed, and messages sent to try to encourage her to return to the Lord. She has made decisions that she believes only affect her, but they have rocked our world. I have seen my daughter devastated by the loss of a friendship. I have cried many tears over the situation and have felt somehow responsible for not being a better example and influence. We have all struggled to make sense of the situation and it has colored every part of our lives for weeks. It has made me sad for choices I have made in the past without considering who else might be affected. It has also encouraged me to make sure that my actions in the future can have "good ripples" instead of bad. At the same time, I have seen our church family respond in an amazing way, and their actions have also had a ripple effect that has been far-reaching.
Earlier this week, our local schools started dealing with various threats of violence. Police presence was increased, faculty and staff were on high alert, and tensions were palpable among students throughout our area. On Wednesday, my husband's school was directly threatened. As I sent him off to work that morning, we stopped and prayed for safety for him, for wisdom for the leaders of the school system and for my peace of mind as I let him go. Throughout the day I texted him to check on him, and he kept responding that all was fine. I started to feel a little silly for being worried, but I couldn't shake the feeling. A little after lunch time, a friend sent me an update that the school was on lockdown. A few minutes later, she called and told me that people at the school were texting and reporting that shots had been fired in the math pod...which is where my husband works. My blood instantly ran cold, and I felt a strange buzzing in my ears as the store spun around me. However, my 11 year old was with me at the checkout, and he was watching my every move. I remember telling my friend thank you and that I was shopping with my son but to keep me posted. I didn't want him to know what was happening. I took a few deep breaths and started texting friends to pray urgently. My son asked if something was wrong, and I didn't want to lie, so I just said, "maybe." Within minutes friends were sending me photos of an alleged gunman in the school, teachers barricading their classroom doors, and texts reporting gunshots in the math pod. I knew better than to call my husband in case this was true, so that I didn't give away his location if he was able to be hidden from the chaos. So, I sent him a text and prayed. A sweet Christian sister kept texting me calming messages and prayers, and posted an urgent request for other Christians to pray right then. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I struggled to keep my focus as we checked out at the store and loaded items into our car to take to the church pantry. Finally, after what seemed like hours (but was only really minutes), my husband texted me that all was okay. Nothing had happened. Kids had fabricated the threat, the photos, the videos, etc. There was no shooter, no danger, no immediate threat. There HAD been a lock down because of some suspicious activity near the school, but all were safe. I wish I could explain how I felt at that moment. Of course, I felt great relief, and I struggled to keep my composure. I also felt frustration that I had been afraid in the first place, after studying that morning on giving my fear over to God. Under the surface, though, I felt a simmering anger. How could someone think it would be funny or cool to spread these kinds of lies? How could they start the social media melee of pictures and videos that were not even legitimate? Somehow, I managed to keep my composure until my husband pulled into our garage that evening. Then, as I ran out to greet him, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I cried from relief and fear and frustration and anger until I had no tears left. When he told me the students were being prosecuted, all I could think was that I wanted their punishment to be that they had to feel what I felt when my friend called and told me there was a shooter. For one minute, I wanted their hearts to freeze within them. I wanted them to feel the room spin and their blood run cold and their lungs struggle to fill with air. I wanted them to understand how I felt when I thought I was going to have to tell my kids that Daddy had been shot. I wanted their world to be rocked like mine had so they would understand that every action we take has a ripple effect that stretches beyond the obvious. In those moments of anger, though, I thought about how God must feel when we do things we shouldn't. When we sin against Him, I wonder if His anger at sin ever makes Him wish we could feel what He does. Does He ever just want to shake us like I wanted to shake those students? It made me want to do even better to follow Him so that I never make Him feel that way. It made me really think about how my actions affect others. It made me want my "ripples" to be good ones instead of tidal waves.
While these have been negative examples, I have also become aware of good examples of the "ripple effect." My son loves to lead singing at worship, and has encouraged other reluctant men of the congregation to take on greater roles in leading worship because they have seen someone so young with a heart to serve God. My daughter has started babysitting for a church family and has chosen to read Bible stories to the little girl to encourage her and her parents. They, in turn, have been a blessing to us as our friendship has deepened. An older member of our congregation has really taken my son under her wing and made him feel special just by little actions that have "rippled" through his life and encouraged him. A simple letter from a Christian sister brightened my day when I was struggling. A faithful mother in our congregation has taught her children to be servants and encouragers, and they are constantly uplifting those around them. Sometimes we think to do good we have to do "big" things. In reality, though, we just have to be the single drop that starts the ripple effect, and before we know it, the lake is full of ripples working together to make waves. May we always consider our words and actions so that "As we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10).
