Last time I checked, depression, anxiety, and mental illness are not 4-letter words. And yet, we so often treat them as "profane" words that should never be mentioned in respectable society. For some reason, there is a terrible shroud of stigma around these conditions that causes us to whisper behind our hands, exchange knowing glances, and even shy away from those who admit to such weaknesses. This should not be so. Shame on us for treating these illnesses as a reflection of one's character and worth. Shame on us for implying that to struggle with mental illness in some way makes one weak, bad, unfaithful, or somehow "less."
In today's day of advanced medical technology, we seldom permit ourselves to suffer long with pain or illness before we are seeking a cure to rid us of our pain, infection, or disease. If a friend is ill, we flood them with food, support, and prayers. If our child feels pain, we seek remedies to ease their discomfort immediately. When people are diagnosed with cancer, we urge them to undergo any possible form of treatment that will better their quality of life. Broken bones are set and repaired almost immediately. Cuts are cleaned, bandaged, and monitored. Victims of stomach bug are rehydrated and pampered until back to their normal level of functioning. We recognize that when something in our physical body is malfunctioning, it is urgent that we remedy the situation quickly. No one would suggest that someone with a broken bone just "get over it." We would never berate or belittle a cancer patient for developing the disease or for seeking treatment. We would never withhold our compassion from a child with a fever or injury. And yet, when it comes to a malfunction of the brain, we somehow check our compassion at the door. Somehow, we blame our friends and family for having a sick brain. While we would never accuse someone of choosing to become sick with the flu, we assign fault to those whose brains do not function correctly. This should not be so.
As someone who has suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life, I cannot tell you how many times someone has told me that if I would "just be more faithful," my struggles would end. I have been told countless times that I can just "suck it up" or "pray it away," as though I am not already praying fervently. I suffered for years in silence and without treatment because I felt that accepting help for this somehow made me less of a person, or somehow indicated sin in my life. As the mother of children who have various imbalances and difficulties, for a long time I stayed silent and refused to open up about our struggles for fear of consequences or scorn from those around me. Now, however, I have determined that if my situation can help others, I stand ready to assist and to be vulnerable if it will help others.
Recently, I heard a couple of young friends of mine berated and ridiculed for seeking help for mental health issues, and that. is. unacceptable. Christians, shame on us when we treat people this way!! People struggling in such situations need our love and support as much as (or more than!) others suffering with various ailments! May we always be ready and willing to extend grace and love to those with such struggles.
Perhaps you find yourself, as I did (and sometimes still do), dealing with anxiety, depression, or some other form of mental illness. If so, please know that you are not alone. There are others who have been through similar valleys and who stand ready and willing to help! There is ONE who knows all things and will never leave you nor forsake you. He has been tempted in all things as we have been, and He was victorious. He will help you obtain the victory as well. Don't give up!! Seek help. This starts, of course, with asking God for help. He loves you and wants the very best for you. He does not expect you to suffer alone. His word is full of encouragement for those who worry or suffer, and His ear is always open to His children.
Seeking help also may include other things, though! Your help may come in the form of someone to talk to, it may be in the form of medication, it may be therapy, or it may even be hospitalization. This does NOT make you weak, sinful, or unworthy. It does not make you less. It does not make you faith-less. You are not broken. You are not "bad." You are simply "sick." It is not your fault. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. Make today the day that you choose to get help. Make this the day that you determine to make no more excuses and to seek assistance. Make this the day that you choose courage instead of fear. Make this the day that your life changes for the better. If I can help you in any way, please let me know. I would love to help make this road easier for you.
If you are one of those who has not suffered from mental illness, you may be wondering how you can help those who are! Here are a few suggestions:
1. Pray for them. Pray for them. Pray for them. Prayer is such a powerful privilege given to us by God. James 5 tells us that the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Let's flood our friends and family with prayer on their behalf.
2. Pray WITH them! If you know someone is suffering, offer to pray WITH them. Sometimes they may not know what to pray for, and it may be such a relief to them to hear you pray for them WITH them.
3. Just be there. Be a friend. Be a shoulder. Be a listener. Sometimes you don't even need to say anything! It may just mean that you sit with them. It may mean you go to the doctor with them. It might even mean that you just listen and hug them and hold their hands. Never underestimate the power of just BEING there.
4. Encourage them to seek help. Sometimes, in the throes of mental illness, the person can't see the need for help. Help them get what they need. Don't give up on them!
5. Love your neighbor. Do the kind, compassionate things you would do for anyone else who was sick. Mental illness can be exhausting. Take meals, send a card, text a short message, make a phone call. These little gestures can go a long way. Ask what they need, but if they don't know, serve them anyway!
6. Demand respect for them. Don't allow others to ridicule them. Do not allow them to degrade themselves. Speak up for them when needed. Be careful of the language you use when speaking of their condition. Realize that they are not defined by their illness, anymore than a child with a broken arm is "just" a broken arm.
7. Do not EVER EVER EVER tell them to just "get over it" or to "suck it up." A good rule is that if you wouldn't say it to a cancer patient about their condition, do not say it to someone about their mental health.
8. If it is a close friend, do your research! They may not have the energy to do the research and find the answers, but maybe you can!
My prayer in writing this is that we will all work hard to help dissipate the cloud of stigma surrounding mental illness. May we never be guilty of shaming others for illness, simply because it occurs in the brain instead of the physical body.
