Service to God - whoa. That sounds big and intimidating, doesn't it?
Letting your Light Shine - what does THAT mean, exactly?
Love your neighbor as yourself - I bet that takes a lot of time.
Sometimes, I think we look at statements like this and think that Christianity and being a servant is too big, too hard, and too complicated or time consuming for us. We think that, surely, the things that we are doing aren't big enough to count. Or, we think that, since we can only do a "little thing," we're better off to just not do anything.
Yesterday, my son had a tonsillectomy and adenoid removal at a local childrens' hospital. He was so scared leading up to it that he had nightmares, panic attacks, and episodes of sheer terror. He wanted to be brave, but he felt so alone and small and scared.
Then, there was this "little thing," where an older church friend told him he had to get there so early so they could load him up with ice cream. That "little thing" gave him something to look forward to, rather than to fear.
Another teenage church friend told him this "little thing" about how his throat would be sore, but it would get better. And he felt less alone, because this guy had been there, too.
A friend who works at the hospital did this "little thing" and brought him a coloring book, a piece of sausage from McDonald's, and TWO visits. And he felt loved, and important, and thankful. (Mommy felt loved when she saw the chocolate and coffee she brought, too!).
Grandma and Grandpa showed up to be there when he woke up, and this "little thing" gave him courage to face recovery.
Nana found him some goodies to keep his restless mind occupied, and this "little thing" gave him something to show off and calm him when he hurt.
A family with little ones showed up to visit and brought a favorite candy and card. This "little thing" meant the world to him.
Another friend had balloons delivered by a "unicorn" (ha!), and he showed them to everyone and then used them for nerf dart practice when he got bored. This "little thing" wasn't so little.
Countless friends sent cards, text messages, etc. to let him know they were thinking of him and praying for him.
Grandaddy surprised him with a visit. Not a "little thing" to him at all.
All of these "little things" took minimal time and effort, yet they changed the course of things for my son. His fear was lessened, his loneliness was subdued, and he no longer felt so "small." In these "little things" I can see a big fulfillment of loving others. These church friends truly did let their light shine, and while each light was a "little thing," together their glow gave him something to bask in during a dark time. The family members who treated him reminded him he is special.
I am so so thankful in a BIG way for these "little" things, and I am more resolved than ever to not discount the little things I am able to do to show a big love for my God.
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Wednesday, November 7, 2018
I. Am. Enough.
Life can get hard sometimes. Some days are a struggle. I mean, the kind of struggle where the very idea of getting out of bed when my husband's alarm goes off seems to be impossible. The kind of struggle where it seems as though the weight of life is so heavy that I can't walk, or talk, or even breathe. Some days, the idea of facing my to-do list and the worries of the day seems like too much.
On these days, it is so hard to see myself as anything but a failure. As anything but incompetent. As anything but unqualified in my roles as Christian, wife, mother, daughter, and friend. As anything but a sinner. It is so easy to see only my faults and struggles and weaknesses in these times.
And yet, it is in these moments that the strength of the LORD should be seen the most. After all, it is only in weak moments that I can truly understand the grace of God.
In these moments, I can relate completely with David when he says, "What is man, that you are mindful of him...?" Psalm 8:4
And yet, Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Sometimes, we can get caught up in all the little things we "have" to do as followers of Christ, and we can begin to feel like it is an endless checklist. When we fall into this mindset, we begin to feel like we can never DO enough, HAVE enough, or BE enough to be worthy of God's love and salvation. we get caught up in our own efforts and forget to see the big picture. We can begin to see ourselves as worthless, useless, undeserving. We begin to see ourselves as having no purpose or meaning because we can never finish our to-do lists, we continue to make mistakes, and we struggle to be "perfect," when, in reality, God never expects us to be perfect! If we were perfect, the sacrifice of Jesus would have no meaning. His bloodshed would be in vain if there were no sins to cover with His perfect, Holy blood. It is only THROUGH Christ that we can obtain perfection, not through our own actions or thoughts.
Micah 6:8 -
He has shown you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you, but to
DO JUSTLY,
TO LOVE MERCY,
AND TO WALK HUMBLY WITH YOUR GOD.
Too many times we expect too much of ourselves, when what the LORD expects is faithfulness. In these times, we must remember that we were created in the very image of God!! When we question our worth and value, we must remember that we were worth enough to God that His Son became flesh, dwelt among us, and shed his perfect, precious blood to redeem us. If we can't see our worth in that, we are not looking. In this, I can see that I am enough. Enough for Him to create me in His image. Enough for Him to shed His blood. Enough for him to conquer death for my sake. Enough for Him to ascend back to the Father to intercede on my behalf. God says I am enough. That should be enough! And if I doubt, I can think of it from God's point of view...
I AM. ENOUGH! He is! So enough already with the self-doubt. Enough with the feeling worthless. Enough with feeling like a failure. Trust that God knew what He was doing when he made me/us. Trust that, through Him, we can become what He wants us to be. Trust that, if we are walking in the light, He can continually cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:7). Trust that, in our infirmities, He can be glorified.
Let this be enough:
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
On these days, it is so hard to see myself as anything but a failure. As anything but incompetent. As anything but unqualified in my roles as Christian, wife, mother, daughter, and friend. As anything but a sinner. It is so easy to see only my faults and struggles and weaknesses in these times.
And yet, it is in these moments that the strength of the LORD should be seen the most. After all, it is only in weak moments that I can truly understand the grace of God.
In these moments, I can relate completely with David when he says, "What is man, that you are mindful of him...?" Psalm 8:4
And yet, Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Sometimes, we can get caught up in all the little things we "have" to do as followers of Christ, and we can begin to feel like it is an endless checklist. When we fall into this mindset, we begin to feel like we can never DO enough, HAVE enough, or BE enough to be worthy of God's love and salvation. we get caught up in our own efforts and forget to see the big picture. We can begin to see ourselves as worthless, useless, undeserving. We begin to see ourselves as having no purpose or meaning because we can never finish our to-do lists, we continue to make mistakes, and we struggle to be "perfect," when, in reality, God never expects us to be perfect! If we were perfect, the sacrifice of Jesus would have no meaning. His bloodshed would be in vain if there were no sins to cover with His perfect, Holy blood. It is only THROUGH Christ that we can obtain perfection, not through our own actions or thoughts.
Micah 6:8 -
He has shown you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you, but to
DO JUSTLY,
TO LOVE MERCY,
AND TO WALK HUMBLY WITH YOUR GOD.
Too many times we expect too much of ourselves, when what the LORD expects is faithfulness. In these times, we must remember that we were created in the very image of God!! When we question our worth and value, we must remember that we were worth enough to God that His Son became flesh, dwelt among us, and shed his perfect, precious blood to redeem us. If we can't see our worth in that, we are not looking. In this, I can see that I am enough. Enough for Him to create me in His image. Enough for Him to shed His blood. Enough for him to conquer death for my sake. Enough for Him to ascend back to the Father to intercede on my behalf. God says I am enough. That should be enough! And if I doubt, I can think of it from God's point of view...
I AM. ENOUGH! He is! So enough already with the self-doubt. Enough with the feeling worthless. Enough with feeling like a failure. Trust that God knew what He was doing when he made me/us. Trust that, through Him, we can become what He wants us to be. Trust that, if we are walking in the light, He can continually cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:7). Trust that, in our infirmities, He can be glorified.
Let this be enough:
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Friday, October 26, 2018
I see you!
Typically, my family sits near the front of the auditorium during worship services. The other day, however, I sat towards the back with some friends since my kids were in class and my husband had security duty. As I sat there, I was struck by what I saw.
To the member who comes to class even though you are in emotional or physical pain, I see you, and you encourage me!
To the husband who is exhausted after a long day of work and still makes sure your family is seeking God's presence with your church family, I see you and am thankful for your spiritual leadership in your home.
To the mom with a child in the midst of a medical struggle, I see you and am thankful for how much you love your children and how you are teaching them to put first things first and to thank God in ALL situations, even when they are difficult.
To the elders who bear the weight of the worries of the congregation and the responsibility to guide our local flock, I see the weariness in your eyes mixed with the joy you have in God's promises. Thank you for serving Him so faithfully.
To the grandparents making sure your grandchildren are being fed God's word, I see you and pray for continued endurance and strength in this journey.
To the mom coming to services alone, I see you. I see that you are teaching your children and your husband what is most important in this life! I see your struggle, your faith, and your desire to please the LORD. Keep on keeping on, mama.
To the parents with "difficult" children, I see how hard you are working to train them up in God's way. I see your exhaustion, your frustration, your confusion, and your struggles. Keep it up!! Godly chastening WILL produce the peaceable fruit of righteousness in time.
To the new Christian soaking up God's word like a sponge, I see you and am encouraged by your love for truth and reminded of how special it is that we have God's precise words for our learning.
To the elders' wives who support your husbands when they have to make difficult decisions, I see you. I see the strain it causes when you know members are hurting, and I see the love you show for your church family and your diligence in serving others.
To the expectant mothers who are exhausted from the difficult job your bodies are doing, I see that you make the effort to be present and to learn God's word. Your example encourages me on days when I, too, am tired!
To the Bible class teachers who have spent a great deal of time and effort in preparing your lessons, I see the result of your labors and am thankful for your willingness to share your knowledge of Scripture so that we, too, might grow in truth.
To those who are single and come alone, I see you and your willingness to serve alone. I am grateful for the talents you bring to our church family and for the time you dedicate to many thankless tasks.
To the newlyweds, I see you starting your life together with the right priorities!!
To the older members who have served as godly examples for many years, I see you passing your wisdom on to those of us who are younger. I see you staying busy in God's service when it would be easy to "retire" and let others pick up the slack.
While I can see all of these things, what is more important is that GOD sees you. God knows where you are and what you are going through, and He sees your faithfulness throughout all the trials, celebrations, difficulties, and joys in your life. He sees you. He loves you. He promises that He will never leave you nor forsake you as long as you serve Him.
So, when you feel like no one sees, no one notices, no one cares... remember that I do. I see, I notice, I care. And, God sees. Always. He sees. He notices. He cares for you.
Finally, to the person in the room who is not a Christian. I see you, too, and I am thankful you are learning about God and His word. My prayer for you is that you will continue learning the truth and will choose to obey Him so that you, too, can be a recipient of His great promises. God sees you, too, and if you are diligently seeking Him, you WILL find Him! If I can help with this in any way, please ask. I would love nothing more.
To the member who comes to class even though you are in emotional or physical pain, I see you, and you encourage me!
To the husband who is exhausted after a long day of work and still makes sure your family is seeking God's presence with your church family, I see you and am thankful for your spiritual leadership in your home.
To the mom with a child in the midst of a medical struggle, I see you and am thankful for how much you love your children and how you are teaching them to put first things first and to thank God in ALL situations, even when they are difficult.
To the elders who bear the weight of the worries of the congregation and the responsibility to guide our local flock, I see the weariness in your eyes mixed with the joy you have in God's promises. Thank you for serving Him so faithfully.
To the grandparents making sure your grandchildren are being fed God's word, I see you and pray for continued endurance and strength in this journey.
To the mom coming to services alone, I see you. I see that you are teaching your children and your husband what is most important in this life! I see your struggle, your faith, and your desire to please the LORD. Keep on keeping on, mama.
To the parents with "difficult" children, I see how hard you are working to train them up in God's way. I see your exhaustion, your frustration, your confusion, and your struggles. Keep it up!! Godly chastening WILL produce the peaceable fruit of righteousness in time.
To the new Christian soaking up God's word like a sponge, I see you and am encouraged by your love for truth and reminded of how special it is that we have God's precise words for our learning.
To the elders' wives who support your husbands when they have to make difficult decisions, I see you. I see the strain it causes when you know members are hurting, and I see the love you show for your church family and your diligence in serving others.
To the expectant mothers who are exhausted from the difficult job your bodies are doing, I see that you make the effort to be present and to learn God's word. Your example encourages me on days when I, too, am tired!
To the Bible class teachers who have spent a great deal of time and effort in preparing your lessons, I see the result of your labors and am thankful for your willingness to share your knowledge of Scripture so that we, too, might grow in truth.
To those who are single and come alone, I see you and your willingness to serve alone. I am grateful for the talents you bring to our church family and for the time you dedicate to many thankless tasks.
To the newlyweds, I see you starting your life together with the right priorities!!
To the older members who have served as godly examples for many years, I see you passing your wisdom on to those of us who are younger. I see you staying busy in God's service when it would be easy to "retire" and let others pick up the slack.
While I can see all of these things, what is more important is that GOD sees you. God knows where you are and what you are going through, and He sees your faithfulness throughout all the trials, celebrations, difficulties, and joys in your life. He sees you. He loves you. He promises that He will never leave you nor forsake you as long as you serve Him.
So, when you feel like no one sees, no one notices, no one cares... remember that I do. I see, I notice, I care. And, God sees. Always. He sees. He notices. He cares for you.
Finally, to the person in the room who is not a Christian. I see you, too, and I am thankful you are learning about God and His word. My prayer for you is that you will continue learning the truth and will choose to obey Him so that you, too, can be a recipient of His great promises. God sees you, too, and if you are diligently seeking Him, you WILL find Him! If I can help with this in any way, please ask. I would love nothing more.
Thursday, March 29, 2018
Life's funny like that.
Have you ever had a moment in life just stop you in your tracks? You can be speeding along through this busy life, and you see or hear something that just stops you right there. Life's funny that way.
Have you ever thought about how each day may be "just another day" for you, but for someone else it may be momentous? For instance, maybe your day just looks like every other day. Normal routine, normal chores, nothing spectacular. Your friend, however, may give birth to her firstborn that day, changing her life forever! Life's funny that way.
Have you ever met someone new, only to find out that you are connected in a million ways and you never knew it? Life's funny that way.
Or, have you ever had a friend or loved one who meant the world to you, even if you rarely had a chance to talk to them, and saw them even less? Maybe that friend you knew from summer camp that you may never talk to, but when you do, it's like you were never apart? Life's funny that way.
This week I had one of those moments that stopped me in my tracks. Tuesday night I got a phone call that my beloved cousin had passed away the day before. That moment paralyzed me. I know I must have responded to the call with words that made sense, because the caller (my dad) didn't question me, but I really don't even remember answering. Or hanging up the phone. Or how I drove home from the gym with my kids a few minutes later. I was frozen. Paralyzed. Stopped in my tracks. I couldn't move. Or breathe. Or think. That Monday was just another day for me, but for my extended family (aunt, uncle, my other cousin), it was life changing. For my beloved cousin, it was his last. I couldn't understand how that could be the case. I still can't. It doesn't seem real. It seems like a cruel joke. And yet, today, his obituary was posted, and I know it isn't a joke. Life isn't funny like that.
It's so strange. I haven't seen my cousin in probably 20 years (or more). I rarely talked to him other than quick messages on Facebook. And yet, he is so intertwined in my childhood that I feel like part of me died on Monday as well. I idolized him as a child. He was one of my closest friends at times, and one of my most annoying enemies at others. I know the 13 months he had on me meant he saw me as the annoying younger cousin at times. Yet, I also know that as kids we shared some heart to heart talks that no one ever knew about but us. I could never do justice to the memories I have of him, but I can't help but think of so many fun times.
I remember watching old tv shows and eating snacks on TV trays.
I remember we were frequent playmates because our families were together so much, especially when our dads co-owned a business.
I remember playing dentist on a long car ride.
I remember that time we went to the movies as young teens and were the only two in the theatre. That was weird.
I remember how, for years, I wanted to name my future son either Matthew Kristopher or Kristopher Matthew in honor of these two brothers who were my cousins.
I remember playing "sardines" at Grandma and Grandpa's.
I remember being terrified of the lake in their backyard because he told me an alligator would climb out and eat me. Ha!
I remember falling for so many things he and Matt said. I was gullible. And I adored them. And I would do anything to impress them or make them happy.
I remember we made up all kinds of strange outdoor games to play together.
I remember being SO excited when it was time to visit.
I remember the giant cockroaches we saw when they moved to Oklahoma City.
I remember how all my friends thought my cousins were gorgeous? handsome? whatever 80s word was popular then? and would find excuses to come over and visit when they were there. I was so proud they were my cousins!
I remember when my grandmother died and my cousins were there for me even though I know they hurt, too.
I remember how proud I was when I heard he had been to med school. And how brilliant he was. And how sometimes unmotivated he was with that brilliance (and it made me want to shake him!). :)
I remember the family photos with the horrible 80's clothes...when all 3 brothers (my dad, his dad, and our uncle) took turns standing on their tiptoes to be the taller brother.
I remember how glad I was to have younger siblings so that I wasn't the youngest and couldn't always be picked on anymore.
I remember stories of him asking if we dug a big enough hole in the sandbox, could we "dig down to the DEBIL?"
I remember all those times I got in trouble for what he and his brother put me up to. :) Aunt Vicki didn't mess around with rule breakers. ;)
I remember Lite Brites and swimming pools and West Lake and Grandpa's ice cream stash and so much more. I remember Kris the way he was when we were kids. I remember how devastated I was when we moved far apart. And how great it was to talk to him as adults.
I just can't grasp that he is gone. I'm sure one day I'll look back this week and it will just be a memory. Life's funny like that. But for today, I just want to remember. And cherish. And grieve.
Have you ever thought about how each day may be "just another day" for you, but for someone else it may be momentous? For instance, maybe your day just looks like every other day. Normal routine, normal chores, nothing spectacular. Your friend, however, may give birth to her firstborn that day, changing her life forever! Life's funny that way.
Have you ever met someone new, only to find out that you are connected in a million ways and you never knew it? Life's funny that way.
Or, have you ever had a friend or loved one who meant the world to you, even if you rarely had a chance to talk to them, and saw them even less? Maybe that friend you knew from summer camp that you may never talk to, but when you do, it's like you were never apart? Life's funny that way.
This week I had one of those moments that stopped me in my tracks. Tuesday night I got a phone call that my beloved cousin had passed away the day before. That moment paralyzed me. I know I must have responded to the call with words that made sense, because the caller (my dad) didn't question me, but I really don't even remember answering. Or hanging up the phone. Or how I drove home from the gym with my kids a few minutes later. I was frozen. Paralyzed. Stopped in my tracks. I couldn't move. Or breathe. Or think. That Monday was just another day for me, but for my extended family (aunt, uncle, my other cousin), it was life changing. For my beloved cousin, it was his last. I couldn't understand how that could be the case. I still can't. It doesn't seem real. It seems like a cruel joke. And yet, today, his obituary was posted, and I know it isn't a joke. Life isn't funny like that.
It's so strange. I haven't seen my cousin in probably 20 years (or more). I rarely talked to him other than quick messages on Facebook. And yet, he is so intertwined in my childhood that I feel like part of me died on Monday as well. I idolized him as a child. He was one of my closest friends at times, and one of my most annoying enemies at others. I know the 13 months he had on me meant he saw me as the annoying younger cousin at times. Yet, I also know that as kids we shared some heart to heart talks that no one ever knew about but us. I could never do justice to the memories I have of him, but I can't help but think of so many fun times.
I remember watching old tv shows and eating snacks on TV trays.
I remember we were frequent playmates because our families were together so much, especially when our dads co-owned a business.
I remember playing dentist on a long car ride.
I remember that time we went to the movies as young teens and were the only two in the theatre. That was weird.
I remember how, for years, I wanted to name my future son either Matthew Kristopher or Kristopher Matthew in honor of these two brothers who were my cousins.
I remember playing "sardines" at Grandma and Grandpa's.
I remember being terrified of the lake in their backyard because he told me an alligator would climb out and eat me. Ha!
I remember falling for so many things he and Matt said. I was gullible. And I adored them. And I would do anything to impress them or make them happy.
I remember we made up all kinds of strange outdoor games to play together.
I remember being SO excited when it was time to visit.
I remember the giant cockroaches we saw when they moved to Oklahoma City.
I remember how all my friends thought my cousins were gorgeous? handsome? whatever 80s word was popular then? and would find excuses to come over and visit when they were there. I was so proud they were my cousins!
I remember when my grandmother died and my cousins were there for me even though I know they hurt, too.
I remember how proud I was when I heard he had been to med school. And how brilliant he was. And how sometimes unmotivated he was with that brilliance (and it made me want to shake him!). :)
I remember the family photos with the horrible 80's clothes...when all 3 brothers (my dad, his dad, and our uncle) took turns standing on their tiptoes to be the taller brother.
I remember how glad I was to have younger siblings so that I wasn't the youngest and couldn't always be picked on anymore.
I remember stories of him asking if we dug a big enough hole in the sandbox, could we "dig down to the DEBIL?"
I remember all those times I got in trouble for what he and his brother put me up to. :) Aunt Vicki didn't mess around with rule breakers. ;)
I remember Lite Brites and swimming pools and West Lake and Grandpa's ice cream stash and so much more. I remember Kris the way he was when we were kids. I remember how devastated I was when we moved far apart. And how great it was to talk to him as adults.
I just can't grasp that he is gone. I'm sure one day I'll look back this week and it will just be a memory. Life's funny like that. But for today, I just want to remember. And cherish. And grieve.
Thursday, February 8, 2018
Silver linings
I'm not going to lie. This week has been a challenge in all areas. Sunday night before bed, my daughter complained that she felt weird. We took her temperature and it was a little under 100, so we figured she was coming down with a little bug. The next morning, her fever had skyrocketed, she was completely lethargic, and her tonsils had swollen until they were almost touching. She complained very little, which had me very worried, as she typically complains about every little ache and pain and twinge...until she is very sick. We rested and hydrated all day, but she continued to decline. My son woke up from a nap with a cough and fever so we went to urgent care, and they were diagnosed with Flu A.
The next morning, both kiddos were miserable. Joshua woke up vomiting from fever, and he was sick every 5-10 minutes from 6 am to 1 pm. In the meantime, my husband called from work with severe kidney stone pain. He made it 1/2 way home and stopped at the ER for treatment and fluids. Since the meds they gave him made him unable to drive, I loaded up the kids and headed to the ER to wait for him to be released so I could drive him home. We sat in the car for 2 hours waiting, and my kids were both miserable. Right before my husband was released, my son started vomiting large amounts of blood. Terrified, I yanked him out of the car and rushed into the ER. We had a horrible experience there. Luckily, my husband was released while we were in triage, so when it became obvious the hospital staff did not believe me (despite a trash can full of evidence), I called the local childrens' hospital, where a friend arranged for us to have someone waiting in the ER for us. When we told the front desk at hospital one that we were leaving, they cornered us and wouldn't let us leave, even though they weren't planning to treat us yet. After they sent us back to the waiting room (again), we walked out of the ER and drove quickly to the kids' ER, where we were immediately escorted to a room and promptly given treatment. My son was a very sick little boy. He was only semi-coherent and had a hard time answering basic questions without confusion. Within a short time, they decided to admit him. During this, my daughter was struggling to stay awake and get comfortable from HER fever and flu, and my husband was groggy and in a lot of pain from his kidney stones. There weren't enough chairs for all of us, so I stood the entire afternoon, going back and forth between them trying to help them be comfortable. once they got us to a room and we saw the doctor there, I had to find a way to get my husband and daughter home. Here is where the silver linings come in to play....
I never cease to be amazed by the family of God, both locally and elsewhere. Throughout all this ordeal, I didn't have physical family in a position where they could help us out, but my church family stepped up and took care of us in ways I didn't even know to ask for. I am so thankful for these godly people who sacrificed for my little family and helped to carry a load that seemed too heavy.
One sweet sister answered my text about Joshua's condition by working behind the scenes at the childrens' hospital to get us the best possible care. Through her encouragement we were able to leave the first hospital and make sure we made it to a place where my son could be better cared for and where I was taken seriously. She continued to check on us throughout our stay to make sure we were being cared for, she met me at the cafeteria with a phone charger, and she even brought us breakfast the next day. When we arrived in our permanent room, she had even left a care package!
Another sister temporarily left her position at the front desk of her department and showed up in the x-ray department to handle my son's xrays. I was so overwhelmed by all that was going on that I hadn't even messaged her yet to tell her we were there, but she saw his name and took charge. She did this at great personal risk (she is pregnant), and then she came and spent an hour with my son so that I could take my husband and daughter home. When I came back from dropping them off, she had disinfected the entire hospital room, arranged for plenty of pillows and blankets for me, and handled his care seamlessly. I can't explain what that meant to me.
As we were being transferred to a room, our preacher's wife made sure that a message was sent out on our church calling tree about Joshua's condition. Within SECONDS, our phones went crazy with messages, phone calls, texts, etc. from church family offering to help. Even the nurses noticed how many messages were coming in during our stay. I was so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, although not surprised. God's wisdom and providence is so evident in His establishment of the church, but sometimes I forget just how amazing it is until we are in a valley.
All night long, sisters updated facebook groups for me, responded to messages, and made sure people were lifting up prayers on our behalf. People I don't even know were praying for my little family. I have no doubt that is how I had the strength to handle all of this, especially since I slept only 30 minutes while we were in the hospital for 24 hours...and only 8 hours from Sunday am - Wednesday night.
Another friend showed up with essential oils for my husband and daughter.
An elder and his wife (who has been sick herself), showed up within an hour of us coming home from the hospital with soup and sandwiches and Sprite and snacks.
Countless people offered food, groceries, and even to sit with my family so that I could sleep.
I am so thankful for the silver linings present in our dark clouds this week. I don't have the right words to convey our gratitude. We are so, so, so abundantly blessed.
The next morning, both kiddos were miserable. Joshua woke up vomiting from fever, and he was sick every 5-10 minutes from 6 am to 1 pm. In the meantime, my husband called from work with severe kidney stone pain. He made it 1/2 way home and stopped at the ER for treatment and fluids. Since the meds they gave him made him unable to drive, I loaded up the kids and headed to the ER to wait for him to be released so I could drive him home. We sat in the car for 2 hours waiting, and my kids were both miserable. Right before my husband was released, my son started vomiting large amounts of blood. Terrified, I yanked him out of the car and rushed into the ER. We had a horrible experience there. Luckily, my husband was released while we were in triage, so when it became obvious the hospital staff did not believe me (despite a trash can full of evidence), I called the local childrens' hospital, where a friend arranged for us to have someone waiting in the ER for us. When we told the front desk at hospital one that we were leaving, they cornered us and wouldn't let us leave, even though they weren't planning to treat us yet. After they sent us back to the waiting room (again), we walked out of the ER and drove quickly to the kids' ER, where we were immediately escorted to a room and promptly given treatment. My son was a very sick little boy. He was only semi-coherent and had a hard time answering basic questions without confusion. Within a short time, they decided to admit him. During this, my daughter was struggling to stay awake and get comfortable from HER fever and flu, and my husband was groggy and in a lot of pain from his kidney stones. There weren't enough chairs for all of us, so I stood the entire afternoon, going back and forth between them trying to help them be comfortable. once they got us to a room and we saw the doctor there, I had to find a way to get my husband and daughter home. Here is where the silver linings come in to play....
I never cease to be amazed by the family of God, both locally and elsewhere. Throughout all this ordeal, I didn't have physical family in a position where they could help us out, but my church family stepped up and took care of us in ways I didn't even know to ask for. I am so thankful for these godly people who sacrificed for my little family and helped to carry a load that seemed too heavy.
One sweet sister answered my text about Joshua's condition by working behind the scenes at the childrens' hospital to get us the best possible care. Through her encouragement we were able to leave the first hospital and make sure we made it to a place where my son could be better cared for and where I was taken seriously. She continued to check on us throughout our stay to make sure we were being cared for, she met me at the cafeteria with a phone charger, and she even brought us breakfast the next day. When we arrived in our permanent room, she had even left a care package!
Another sister temporarily left her position at the front desk of her department and showed up in the x-ray department to handle my son's xrays. I was so overwhelmed by all that was going on that I hadn't even messaged her yet to tell her we were there, but she saw his name and took charge. She did this at great personal risk (she is pregnant), and then she came and spent an hour with my son so that I could take my husband and daughter home. When I came back from dropping them off, she had disinfected the entire hospital room, arranged for plenty of pillows and blankets for me, and handled his care seamlessly. I can't explain what that meant to me.
As we were being transferred to a room, our preacher's wife made sure that a message was sent out on our church calling tree about Joshua's condition. Within SECONDS, our phones went crazy with messages, phone calls, texts, etc. from church family offering to help. Even the nurses noticed how many messages were coming in during our stay. I was so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, although not surprised. God's wisdom and providence is so evident in His establishment of the church, but sometimes I forget just how amazing it is until we are in a valley.
All night long, sisters updated facebook groups for me, responded to messages, and made sure people were lifting up prayers on our behalf. People I don't even know were praying for my little family. I have no doubt that is how I had the strength to handle all of this, especially since I slept only 30 minutes while we were in the hospital for 24 hours...and only 8 hours from Sunday am - Wednesday night.
Another friend showed up with essential oils for my husband and daughter.
An elder and his wife (who has been sick herself), showed up within an hour of us coming home from the hospital with soup and sandwiches and Sprite and snacks.
Countless people offered food, groceries, and even to sit with my family so that I could sleep.
I am so thankful for the silver linings present in our dark clouds this week. I don't have the right words to convey our gratitude. We are so, so, so abundantly blessed.
Saturday, January 6, 2018
What's the theme?
A few weeks ago I read a post about having a "theme" for your year, rather than just specific resolutions that are easily forgotten or broken. I had never heard of this idea, and it resonated with me instantly. While I firmly believe in resolutions because they keep me focused, I love the idea of having a theme to keep me focused as well! I hope that all of my smaller goals throughout the year can fit into this theme. I have thought long and hard about which verse to choose, and several made the short list of finalists. I have listed them below (in no certain order), and at the end is my final choice.
Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. At camp one year, the speaker told us that you make time for what you WANT to do. Don't say "I can't" or "I don't have time." You have the time to seek what is important. Take it!
Ecclesiastes 12:13 - Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all. The wisest man ever to live realized that, after a life of having and doing whatever he wanted, keeping God's commands was the best and most valuable choice.
Galatians 5:22-23 - 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law
All of these would be great choices, but I finally decided on Micah 6:8.
My prayer for 2018 is to make all of my goals and decisions and actions fit with these simple to say (and not as simple to do!) words from God. Pretty much everything God asks of us can be summed up in these verses. If you have any questions about the Bible or God's plan for us, I'd love to study with you!
May God bless your 2018 as you strive to seek Him and His will.
Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. At camp one year, the speaker told us that you make time for what you WANT to do. Don't say "I can't" or "I don't have time." You have the time to seek what is important. Take it!
Ecclesiastes 12:13 - Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all. The wisest man ever to live realized that, after a life of having and doing whatever he wanted, keeping God's commands was the best and most valuable choice.
Galatians 5:22-23 - 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law
All of these would be great choices, but I finally decided on Micah 6:8.
He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?
My prayer for 2018 is to make all of my goals and decisions and actions fit with these simple to say (and not as simple to do!) words from God. Pretty much everything God asks of us can be summed up in these verses. If you have any questions about the Bible or God's plan for us, I'd love to study with you!
May God bless your 2018 as you strive to seek Him and His will.
Monday, January 1, 2018
A clean slate
There is something about an empty notebook, journal, planner, and calendar that makes me feel so hopeful! It is a clean slate, waiting to be filled with memories, dreams, accomplishments, prayers, and letters to friends and family. There are no mistakes. No erasures. No black marks through misspellings or errors. Even as a small child, I LOVED shopping for new school supplies. Sharp pencils, clean erasers, and empty notebooks. Always empty notebooks. Even today, I have a weakness for clean pages just waiting to be filled.
I am a list maker. A planner. A record keeper. A memory protector. I find safety and comfort in words, schedules, lists, and records. They keep me focused, productive, and constantly improving and growing.
2017 was a hard year. Plain and simple. So, I am not sorry at all to welcome 2018 and the "blank calendar" it represents. I am hopeful and thankful for the chance to write a new story for 2018.
I took a quiz today and it said my "word of the year" for 2018 was JOY. It's almost scary how accurate that is for how my life needs to be. I see a few promising possibilities in that word.
One is from a kids' Bible song. J-O-Y, J-O-Y, tell me what it means. Jesus first, yourself last, and others in between. This is, in all honesty, exactly how we as Christians need to be living, and how I want every day to be! Jesus doesn't just COME first, He IS first. He is all. He is everything. Only when He is first can I have JOY. I am praying for opportunities this year to put life in perspective and to put Him first in everything. In my marriage. In parenthood. In my job as a travel agent. As a babysitter. As a Bible class teacher. As a sister, a friend, a homeschool teacher, a Christian.
Another is in contrast to what 2017 held for me. I have always been prone to depression, but this year it hit me like no other. In the past, I have had short (or sometimes longer) episodes of sadness and the typical emotions you relate to depression. This time, it is different. There is no sadness or feeling sorry for myself. This time it has affected my focus, my concentration, my memory. There are days when my husbands asks me what is for dinner and I have to admit that I don't know. Not only do I not remember, I can't make the decision and he has to do it for me. I have never felt so helpless and so reliant on others. And on God.
I have learned (and am still learning!) much through this. I have learned that it is okay to ask for help. I have learned that I can't do it all. I have learned that Philippians 4:13 is so very true. I CAN do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. I may not be able to do them immediately or perfectly. I may forget things. I may mess up and I may fail. But I can do all things that are needed for Him through Him.
I have learned that some things are just "clutter" in life, and it's okay to let those things go. It's okay to stay home sometimes. It's okay to say no. Did you hear me? IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO! I know I am not the only one for whom that is difficult.
So, as a new year comes barreling in, I am grateful to close the cover on the 2017 calendar. I am hopeful about all that the blankness of 2018 holds for me and for my family. I am blessed to have a church family that pitches in when I just can't anymore. I am thankful for a physical family who will keep my children when my brain just needs time to rest and heal. Most of all, though, I look forward to the JOY that is found only in Christ, the author and finisher of my faith, and the One through whom even the darker days are possible.
I am a list maker. A planner. A record keeper. A memory protector. I find safety and comfort in words, schedules, lists, and records. They keep me focused, productive, and constantly improving and growing.
2017 was a hard year. Plain and simple. So, I am not sorry at all to welcome 2018 and the "blank calendar" it represents. I am hopeful and thankful for the chance to write a new story for 2018.
I took a quiz today and it said my "word of the year" for 2018 was JOY. It's almost scary how accurate that is for how my life needs to be. I see a few promising possibilities in that word.
One is from a kids' Bible song. J-O-Y, J-O-Y, tell me what it means. Jesus first, yourself last, and others in between. This is, in all honesty, exactly how we as Christians need to be living, and how I want every day to be! Jesus doesn't just COME first, He IS first. He is all. He is everything. Only when He is first can I have JOY. I am praying for opportunities this year to put life in perspective and to put Him first in everything. In my marriage. In parenthood. In my job as a travel agent. As a babysitter. As a Bible class teacher. As a sister, a friend, a homeschool teacher, a Christian.
Another is in contrast to what 2017 held for me. I have always been prone to depression, but this year it hit me like no other. In the past, I have had short (or sometimes longer) episodes of sadness and the typical emotions you relate to depression. This time, it is different. There is no sadness or feeling sorry for myself. This time it has affected my focus, my concentration, my memory. There are days when my husbands asks me what is for dinner and I have to admit that I don't know. Not only do I not remember, I can't make the decision and he has to do it for me. I have never felt so helpless and so reliant on others. And on God.
I have learned (and am still learning!) much through this. I have learned that it is okay to ask for help. I have learned that I can't do it all. I have learned that Philippians 4:13 is so very true. I CAN do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. I may not be able to do them immediately or perfectly. I may forget things. I may mess up and I may fail. But I can do all things that are needed for Him through Him.
I have learned that some things are just "clutter" in life, and it's okay to let those things go. It's okay to stay home sometimes. It's okay to say no. Did you hear me? IT IS OKAY TO SAY NO! I know I am not the only one for whom that is difficult.
So, as a new year comes barreling in, I am grateful to close the cover on the 2017 calendar. I am hopeful about all that the blankness of 2018 holds for me and for my family. I am blessed to have a church family that pitches in when I just can't anymore. I am thankful for a physical family who will keep my children when my brain just needs time to rest and heal. Most of all, though, I look forward to the JOY that is found only in Christ, the author and finisher of my faith, and the One through whom even the darker days are possible.
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